All I'm Saying there's a joke in here somewhere

I went down to the local beauty college for a pedicure this morning. It's an inexpensive place to go, especially good if you are willing to lower your expectations about the quality of a job you may or may not receive. I have a "regular" pedicure girl down there, who I know is worth the $15 I put into it.

As I was waiting in the lobby, I overheard a woman caterwauling to the beauty college manager about the dye job and cut she'd received the day before. I actually thought her hair looked pretty good and that her face was the bigger problem, but she didn't seem to see it that way. She was going on and on about how she hadn't slept at all the night before because she was so upset about how her hair had turned out and that it was so dry, yadda yadda. So I was mentioning this to Amber, my pedicure girl, and she said the woman had been in there all day the day before. Her hair had been dyed coal black for years, and she wanted the dye lifted and to switch to a brunette shade with auburn highlights. So for those of you who didn't spend years hanging around your friend's mother's hair parlor, that's a major process. You have to strip out all the black dye with peroxide, which really dries up the hair. (Hence the dry feeling, que?) Then you go back over it with the brunette color, then over it one more time with the highlights. And because the whole peroxide issue is sketchy to begin with because the dye won't always lift out evenly, your resulting color may be clumpy. Anyway, making a long story slightly less long, here is the moral: if you want a high-end hairdo, don't go to a freaking beauty college. What the hell was this woman thinking? Idiot...

Then I had my pedicure, which was great. Partway through, a woman came in and started getting a pedi in the chair next to me. I looked over at the polish colors she had selected and realized she was getting a French pedicure (for you men who are still with me, that means a solid color, usually pink, over the pink part of the nail, then another color, usually white, at the tip of the nail). She had chosen black and gold. "Steelers fan?" I asked. "HELL YES!" she replied.

I love the beauty college. It's like going to the county fair, but without the beer.