All I'm Saying there's a joke in here somewhere

Thanks to all who gave input about the plugged milk duct! I'm surprised by how many of you have been there-done that, but I guess I knew it was fairly common. I ended up heating my Earth Mama Angel Baby "Booby Tubes" in the microwave half a dozen times and stuck them in my bra as compresses, then took a hot bath, then let Freya nurse all she wanted from that side last night.

By this morning, I had gone from a palm-sized hard place in my breast down to just a nickle-sized knot. I think it is completely gone now, but between being in meetings all day and then coming home to chase Freya around, I haven't had a good chance to check. The pain is all gone. Hopefully the cheese tit crisis has been averted.

I'll keep you all posted.

It would appear I have a plugged duct in my breast. This is very common in nursing mothers; I just thought I was going to get lucky and miss the whole experience. Not so.

I'm not sure what causes it, but essentially you get a hard, painful spot on your breast. In my case, it is a wedge-shape that extends from my armpit nearly to the tip. From the outside, it feels like there is a large, flat rock in there. From the inside it aches like the devil.

My favorite breastfeeding site says that the best thing you can do is to continue nursing on that side in hopes of removing the blockage. Usually it goes away within a day or two. If not, it may turn in to mastitis: a condition we referred to in cattle as "cheese tit" back when I was growing up. It doesn't sound so funny now.

Oh boy, we're off to the races now. Freya has crawled like 3 "paces" in a row a couple of times this morning, and you can see she's already figured out that it is a pretty darned good way to get from Point A to Point B. It's on now.

So much for the walk before she crawls theory.

Freya isn't crawling quite yet, but she's got the wall-walk down. She'll stand against whatever, and walk around it just balancing with her hands on the object. While I've been sitting here upgrading to IE7, she's gone around the outside of her exersaucer (because sitting in the seat is soooo juvenile!) about thirty-seven times. She's fast, too. And she can transition between objects: from the exersaucer to the bookcase, the TV to the end tables, etc. Thank God all our furniture is very heavy. Though we do plan to install wall latch thingies so that the furniture can't tip over on her.

We put in our first electrical outlet covers today. Think it's time for a ThudGuard yet?

Not that I think anyone else has even seen this movie, but Matt and I just watched The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. It stars Tommy Lee Jones, and he plays a ranch foreman whose friend, an illegal immigrant, is shot and killed by a border patrol agent acting quite a bit outside his boundaries.

I thought it was quite a good movie, and in case anyone reading this has actually seen it, I'd like to discuss the fact that when TLJ's character returns his body to the area in Mexico Melquiades said he was from, the town didn't exist and no one seemed to know who Melquiades was. I was quite confused. The movie ended, and I sat there metaphorically scratching my head.

I asked Matt what he thought the deal was, and he quite lucidly pointed out that Melquidades likely represented all the lost and unmourned immigrants who die in the attempt to find new lives in America and whose families never hear from them again. They're the unknowns.

I said, "Ah." He's so wise sometimes.

Since Freya was born, I've been getting a little more neurotic cautious about what kinds of products I use on her, on my body and for cleaning the house and doing laundry. We've gotten rid of fabric softener (it does weird things to water treatment facilities) by using vinegar in the rinse cycle and a ball of aluminum foil in the dryer. I'm using vinegar for most cleaning situations. I'm washing my face with honey. (Try it, it works and is really moisturizing.)

I've been wondering about the safety of commercial antiperspirants for quite a while now. There are studies saying that there is no known connection between them and breast cancer, but just because there aren't any known connections doesn't mean there aren't any. At least, in my book. So I was recommended a product called "Funk Butter" from Oyin Handmade. I ordered it and a few other things, and they came in the mail yesterday.

Well. So far my pits smell great and aren't sweaty, but I'm not doing much physically to test it. What I am REALLY thrilled with is something called Whipped Pudding that can be used as a body lotion or a hair conditioner. I put it in my hair this morning after washing normally, and holy cow. Not only is my hair really soft, but it has a TON of volume. I think it is because there isn't all the artificial crap weighing it down.

So anyway, if you're looking for a switch, I highly recommend this stuff!

From our house to yours: Happy Thanksgiving!

Updated: Amazon took down the product, so check it out at the new link below.

Dear Santa,

For heaven's sake, please do not bring this to my daughter for Christmas. It is clearly not an appropriate toy for children. I shudder to think what people would think if they saw her playing with it.

However, I think it looks kind of interesting. Please add it to my wish list.

Thank you,
Casey

And thanks to Dee for pointing this out.

I feel like a bad mom today. Earlier this afternoon Freya and I were sitting on the floor in the living room. She's getting really good at pulling herself to standing on pretty much whatever--the couch, larger toys, the dogs, my chair, me, etc. But she's also learning to use her top tooth as a sort of grappling hook. Not that big a deal, unless it's your leg she's trying to scale and she delivers a pretty rough chomp to you. She bit down, startled me, and without thinking I jerked my leg away and swatted her on the bottom.

I know. I swatted her. She's only 9 months old. It wasn't hard. In fact, I'm positive that the sudden movement of my leg had far more effect in startling her than any of my other actions. But I immediately felt really, really horrible.

I was given spankings when I was growing up and I know it did me no harm and probably a lot of good. I'm not ruling out a swat on the bottom with my open hand in Freya's future. And who knows--maybe I'll feel just as bad the next time. But I know it's going to be a long time from now, when she's better able to identify the behavior that earned her the swat. Sorry, baby. (I've apologized to her roughly thirty times already, actually.)

To the good, I think she's forgiven me and doesn't remember a thing.

Sometimes I just don't know how I get myself into messes like this. When I see a person standing on the street with a "Need Help" sign in their hands, I will usually stop (after locking the car doors) and give them a buck or two. For the longest time, I wouldn't do it because I figured they'd probably spend it on liquor or they were one of those people who makes such
a great living panhandling that they go home to a decent place, eat a square meal, watch some cable TV and call it a day. But anymore I would just rather let karma sort it out. If they really don't need it or will waste it, well, bad karma for them. It's still good karma for me.

So I think that's how I ended up in my current situation: I saw an ad on Craigslist that said a local family was in desperate need of food, baby clothing and a baby crib. I felt bad and knew that we had a bunch of things Freya had outgrown, so I responded to the ad. It had evidently been placed by a friend of the family who was acting as a sort of go-between. It turned out that the clothes would have been too small, so I said I could come up with some dry goods. I was provided the phone number of the family to schedule a pick-up.

When the woman at the other end answered the phone, I explained who I was. She said, "I'm embarassed that my friend did that." I asked if she still needed things, and she said, "I'll take anything if it's free." (Red Flag #1) I asked where they were located and she mentioned a town about 40 miles away and said she had a suspended driver's license and could only drive to work and back. (Red Flag #2) Then she heard Freya warbling in the background and said, "How old's your little one?" I said she was nine months and the woman replied, "I've got four kids right now and I'd like two more, but my ol' man said no." (Red flags are flying all over the place and my internal alarm is going woop! woop! woop!) At this point, I pretty much knew I wasn't going to be giving them anything and so I said I'd try to figure something out and would let them know.

That was last weekend. I got an e-mail today from the friend who said something like, "Have you forgotten about them?" I replied that I couldn't figure out a way to get the supplies to the family, so I donated the stuff to a food bank and wished her friends the best. And then I got a response saying, "Well, you could always give them something else."

Yeah. Right.

My gut instinct is to write a scathing e-mail back about how I am not going to provide any additional support to people who can't take care of the children they currently have, but are more than willing to go right on breeding in spite of that. It would be fun to say that I'd contribute to a fund-raising effort to get both parents sterilized. But there's a big part of me that worries this nut will show up on my doorstep and demand that I provide some sort of assistance.

So, internet. What would you do

...and no, we're not related to this guy:

It's worth pointing out, perhaps, that there remains a philosophical debate, at least in some corners of the world, over whether bestiality is actually a crime (it's a misdemeanor in Wisconsin) or merely an indulgence of carnal pleasure that adherents hopefully practice discreetly.

Local Assistant District Attorney James Boughner argues that Hathaway broke the law because criminal statutes relating to "sexual gratification with an animal" do not specifically rule out a crime being committed if it involves a dead animal versus a live one. But attorney Anderson counters in a motion to dismiss now before Judge Michael Lucci: "The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass."

Somehow I don't think we'll be seeing this one tomorrow morning on The Today Show.

I was sitting at the dining room table eating my breakfast this morning when the local news ran a little brief about President Bush playing the xylophone while making the rounds on his visit to Asia.

I didn't at first realize it was a xylophone I was hearing, and I thought to myself, "There goes that idiot demonstrating how he can play a tune on partially-emptied wine glasses. I bet all the Bush kids got tooted up after holiday dinners and experimented until they could play The Mashed Potato on Barbara's crystal."

Close, but no cigar.

I got this quiz from Erica. It is interesting to me, because people ask me several times a year (ish) where I am from, based on my accent. Some assume the South. There is definitely an Idaho accent, but it is often mistaken for a southern one. I think in a lot of cases the accent is actually affected. I can think of people I grew up with who have a stronger accent than I do (not you, Loni), and yet we weren't separated by a whole lot in the way of upbringing, background or economic status. And yet they sound like they've got nothing but gumbo between their ears and red dirt on their bare feet.

My new addiction is obsessively clicking into Steep and Cheap, a Woot-like site selling everything outdoorsy from ice axes to sun glasses to clothing. They sell one item at a time at steeply discounted prices. I've probably clicked it twenty times today. I bought some killer Smith sunglasses yesterday for $20.

I'm so hooked!

I was in Jamba Juice yesterday and heard my first Christmas carol of the year. It was one of John Lennon's...I can't remember which one, but it definitely was not "Merry Christmas (War Is Over)." I commented to the lady at the counter that it was the first carol I'd heard since 12/25/05, and she got a pained look on her face. "We buy our music via satellite, and I can't figure out how to change the station."

We were at Target later in the day and saw their holiday extravaganza. Since then, I've noticed more and more holiday stuff creeping in. In fact, our employee's association at work had a mini-tree decorating activity today. They had a bunch of craft Christmas trees and teeny decorations, and everyone was invited to come decorate. The trees will later be used at our holiday drunkfest get-together as centerpieces. It was fun.

And I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. I'll bet you're pretty excited to hear about how things go with my family this year. My younger brother is bringing a guest--I have to assume it is a female, but he didn't confirm that for me. I told him we'd try not to embarass him too badly, but I won't make promises I can't keep.

Matt and I were both struck by a ham craving last night. It was probably some commercial letting you know it was time to order your holiday meat products or something.

He's a good man--while I was out at yoga class this morning, he loaded up the baby and went to the grocery store to pick us up a ham for dinner tonight.

It's good to have a partner who can appreciate the allure of a good slab of cured meat, don't you think?

Have you ever had two friends--close friends, both with you and with each other--all of a sudden just basically go to war on one another? I've got that going on in my life right now. It is incredibly distressing and frustrating, and I can't imagine what it is like to be either one of them right now. It's hard enough to not be in the middle of all of it.

This has kind of been going on...building, really, for the last couple of months. Tempers were running high for a while, but nothing actually happened. But today a shot was fired, and I'm afraid it spells the Apocalypse. At least for the friendship that was between these two.

Have any of the rest of you ever dealt with something like this? I know the worst thing I could do is to take sides, but that's pretty difficult. Even when you think you're hearing both sides of the story (which I am definitely not at this point), you'd find yourself leaning one way or another.

The whole thing makes me feel a little like Wile E. Coyote in the cartoons where a giant rockslide has been unleashed right above him, and he is standing below it with a teeny-tiny umbrella held over his head by way of deflecting the pounding he's about to take.

Matt called out to me this morning and said, "You probably won't think this is as funny as I do, but Grover must have sat on an worm this morning because there's one stuck to his butt."

I replied, "The internet is totally going to want to see THAT!"

I present to you...the Worm! (A little tough to see since it is roughly the same color as Grover's butt hair.)

Matt was afraid the invertebrate dangler might end up inside the house, so he took matters into his own hands:

So Internet, was I right? Did you really want to get a good look at that?

Holy crow, peanut! You're nine months old today! We celebrated by going out and voting in the mid-term elections. This is actually your second go-round with voting: you were there for the primary, too. Way to go, little patriot!

You are the proverbial barrel of fun right now. You've started waving at people--in fact, you'll wave at anyone. I had you in the mall a couple of weeks ago, and I could see your little pudgy hand sticking out the side of the stroller, just waving away. You don't have that little baby finger wiggle--you've got a full fledged elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist beauty queen wave down. You've also started giving high fives. Our next parlor trick will hopefully be to get you to blow kisses.

We had you at the pediatrician for your regular check-up the other day and you are squarely in the 50th percentile for growth and expansion. It is plain for all to see that you are a genius.

You're still breastfeeding for most of you calories and you're still sleeping in bed with Daddy and I. I hope that we can continue that for a while longer, since I love having you so close to me. You're *this close* to crawling, and you can pull yourself up to standing by holding on to anything that will bear your weight. You can also circumnavigate said objects.

Finally, you've still got three teeth, but I think you've got a couple more coming in soon. You've been a teensy bit crabby lately and you're whacking yourself on the left side of the head with your open palm repetitively. I can tell something is bugging you there.

Thank you for all the joy you've given us already, sweetheart. You're so loved.
Love,
Mommy

Just taken as I was typing this entry--fresh Freya photo!

Please go out and vote tomorrow (or today, whenever you happen to be reading this). It really is terrifically important. Particularly if you don't like the direction the country has been going in lately.

After the crushing disappointment of the 2004 elections (my birthday--my FREAKING BIRTHDAY, DAMMIT), I am afraid to even hope at all. But there are so many important races right now, and things are looking good for people on my side of the issues for the first time in a long while.

Even if you aren't a voting Idahoan, there are reasons to be interested in our state's election process this year: we have a candidate named Butch who is well known for having won a tight fitting jeans contest a few years back at a local watering hole, and a candidate who honest-to-God changed his name from Marvin to "Pro Life."

Not to mention the gay marriage ban amendment to the State constitution and the movement to return a 10 Commandments monument back to a Boise park after it was legally removed (initiated by a challenge from Fred Phelps and His Church of Kansas Nutfuckery) a few years back.

Anyway, big stuff going on. Do me proud and go vote, willya?

Freya and I went out and ran some errands this afternoon, and when we were on our way home I noticed an Open House sign at the first entrance to our subdivision. I decided to stop and check it out--I love looking at what other people in the neighborhood have done to their places.

This place was being sold at a price that was almost double what we paid for ours a year and a half ago, though it had 1000 more square feet. And some pretty nice upgrades. But I think I hurt the realtor's feelings when I said, "The price seems kind of high, don't you think?" He pointed out that it was a mere $106 per square foot and that you couldn't buy much of anything for that price nowadays.

As we were wandering around, I went out into the garage to check out the storage. The door closed, and I discovered Freya and I were locked in the garage. I banged on the inside door to get the realtor's attention, but he may have been having a little sulk over my pricing comment and didn't respond. I had taken off my shoes when I went in the house, so exiting through the garage to the outside into the rain didn't sound so good. I hammered on the door a second time and he let us back in. Smart woman, me.

Anyhoo, doesn't look like we'll be gaining another 1,000 square feet any time soon. I think it would just about double our mortgage payment, not to mention that the real estate market in Boise is finally starting to backslide, so I think we'll just stand pat. It's fun to dream, though.

Looks like November 2 is historically pretty boring. At least, as near as I can tell. Highlights include:

North and South Dakota becoming states (1889)
Mussolini proclaimed the Rome-Berlin Axis, creating the Axis Powers (1936)
President Ronald Regan signs a bill proclaiming Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
(1983)

Notable birthdays falling on November 2 include:

Daniel Boone (1734)
Marie Antoinette (1755)
Pat Buchanan (1938)
k.d. lang (1961)
Me (1974)
Nelly (1975)

It is also All Souls' Day and Day of the Dead.

Answer in comments (mine are in the extended entry, but I'm exclusive that way):

1. Did you dress up for Halloween? If so, as what?

2. What was your all-time best Halloween costume?

3. Did you hand out candy yesterday? If so, how much do you have left over?

4. If you (or your progeny) trick-or-treated, how much candy did you haul in?

5. What was the best costume you saw this year?

Continue reading "Halloween Recap Reader Poll"