All I'm Saying there's a joke in here somewhere

Freya brought home another cold from school. It's a sad coincidence too, because I was just thinking we'd had a nice, long run of healthfulness and that her immune system was stabilizing from the onslaught of school kid germs.

Then again... The other night she started getting pretty sniffly, and then the cough set in. About one cough in twenty is preceded by a terrible gasping wheeze, and I started to think maybe she has whooping cough, but I don't think it's quite that bad.

And tonight I've started getting it, and I doubt I'll be going in to work tomorrow. I feel like kind of a shmuck because I had her go to school with the cold today. She's got lots of energy and no fever, so I figured it wasn't the end of the world. And yet I sit here contemplating being too sick to go to my office. Worse, I'm hoping she has a fairly smooth night so I can take her to school in the morning and come home and crash.

I feel pretty selfish about that. But there's no way in hell I can get any rest if she's here at the same time, and Matt can't take her tomorrow because he's training a new warden for the rest of this week. Arrrgh! What to do? What to do???

The bail-out (or lack thereof), I mean. Not even here at All I'm Saying.

I called my elected officials last week and told them that I'm against the bail-out. Ethically, the whole thing just stinks to high heaven. It comes down to greedy Wall Street types lobbying to get some of the regulations (in place to protect people like you and I) rescinded, and there was a huge amount of money made because of it. Much of that went to people we've never even heard of, but they're the same ones you hear about with the $85 million golden parachutes. It's not right for the taxpayer to be holding the bag: if America is truly about capitalism and the opportunity to succeed, the reverse needs to hold true. If you fail, you lose. Unfortunately, those protections were removed and we're all going to lose, bail-out or not.

Anyway, I think it'll be back, but at least this time Congress will hopefully get a chance to create a better package with more chance of success. And regardless, we'll all be facing some lean times ahead. I think it is a chance for us to make a better America--one not run (as much) by greed and profiteering. Times will be lean, but we'll become a stronger country and a stronger people for it.

All that said, if you're interested in learning more about how the economy works and how we got in this position, I highly recommend Chris Martenson's Crash Course. It takes about 3 hours all together, and is broken into chapters between 1 and 12 minutes long. It's in clear, simple terms. I'm up to chapter 12 and I have learned a MOUNTAIN of information. It certainly is helping me understand what is going on now. Go take a look if you, like me, flat-out missed economics (other than the "Home" variety) in high school.

I'm probably an idiot for trying to do so many things on the weekends. But I found these instructions for building a passive solar heater, and I just had to try it.

It's not going so well. First off, I probably shouldn't try to construct things for the same reasons that I shouldn't bake: some processes require more exacting effort than I'm willing or able to give. It's all about measuring, and I think it's dumb that it has to be so precise. (So in spite of my abilities with spatial mechanics, I shall never become an architect, or anything else where my precision is responsible for human life. I'll stick to administrative and public affairs sorts of jobs.)

The heater requires you first to glue pennies to foam board. 'kay, did that. Now why are they falling off? I must not have used enough adhesive spray. Next, the frame of it has gaps on account of that measuring issue. It's frustrating, and my glue gun is out of glue sticks and I don't have the effort left to go back to Lowe's.

And then I offered to make a nice dinner for Matt's game warden trainee, so I made my friend Varinia's "cheater carnitas," which is a sort-of shortcut way of making tasty pork tacos. It still takes a lot of effort. Then I decided dessert was in order, so I made strawberry cobbler. And then I waited, and things got cold and I ate and Freya had some too. Looks like they ran into something "poachy" while they were out working and I should feel bad for them that they're going to eat dinner so late, but instead I'm cranky because...well...it didn't go according to The Plan.

So really, very little of today was worth as much effort as I put into it. I hate it when it works out that way. Oh, and I forgot to mention I parented a two and a half year old with a runny nose and cough, which is similar to trying to train a grizzly bear. So yeah. Can the weekend be over now? I need a rest.

Since I bought my Zune MP3 player and got the Zune Pass (which allows you unlimited downloads to your Zune for $15/month), I've been loading up on music that I remember from my childhood. That wouldn't be too remarkable to me, but I am finding a lot of songs that I told myself I quite simply hated as a kid, and now I'm enjoying them and thinking how darned bittersweet it is to hear them again.

Why did I hate them? Well, it tends to be music that my parents ran into the ground for me. For example, my mother basically channelled Barbra Streisand for as long as I can remember. And to your average pre-teen in my day and age, she might as well have been jamming an ice pick into my ear. But now I'm picking up a few of her songs and realizing what a truly amazing singer she is. (Babs, not my mother.) Besides, it'd be a shame to waste the brain cells that were involuntarily conscripted to learn every damned word of the "Guilty" album. I've dusted them off, brought them into the light, and have been putting them to work.

On my dad's side, he was mainly a Muzak kind of guy. That was just too painful, but the one artist he liked that I'm rediscovering is John Denver. I remember him dancing with me as a very little girl to the song "Sunshine on My Shoulder," and I think in some way the memory of that was just too tender for me to really like the song as an adolescent, but as a mother I can now really appreciate what he was feeling for me. I actually used it for the daddy/daughter dance at my wedding reception, and it made him cry.

What songs do you particularly remember from your childhood? Do you like them, love them, hate them now?

My God, this house is clean. Between the housekeeper and the carpet cleaning today, it's a Veritable Palace of Sparkle. Another 24 hours from now, it'll be back to hell.

I'm starting a new fitness class thing one night a week. I've been looking to take some sort of hip-hop/modern dance thing, and I found a place not too far from here that just opened up. The funny thing is, their class schedule rotates around a lot, and so one week I might be taking a hip-hop class, and the next week it might end up being Pole Dance 101 (I'm not kidding) or Cardio Tease or Belly Dance. But hey, I'm up for whatever. They've also got a 6-week Intro to Burlesque workshop that would be really, really fun. Not that I'm looking for a second job, but you probably shouldn't sneeze at career development skills like that with the economy the way it is.

Freya has been sitting on her potty, ostensibly pooping, for about 5 solid minutes. She's going to have quite a hemmorhoid.

Tomorrow is a big day for our house: not only is it the house-keeper's regular day to come around, but I'm getting the carpets cleaned! (That is not a euphemism, just so you know.)

I've got a cheapo carpet steamer from Lowe's, but I think it is high time to get a professional in here. Freya had a little incident with her Crayola "washable" paint in the hallway, and I cannot get it out of the carpet. I steamed and steamed, and was really appalled at how dirty the water was in the steamer, and that was only in a 2' x 3' area. Yuck.

If we ever want to sell this place, we're definitely going to have to get new carpets. I could go for hardwood floors (also not a euphemism), but then I think about how the dog hair already clumps up on the floor in the kitchen and realize I'm not ready to spread that to the rest of the house.

If you could get any kind of flooring you wanted, what would it be?

Okay, so today? Something totally weird and in poor taste happened. At that place I don't blog about. (Psst...my office.)

There are several married couples who work in other departments. Recently, one of the couples announced their divorce. Okay, we're sorry. These things happen and we still care about you both. But! Today!

The ex-husband type came through with envelopes and handed them to a number of us. He wanted me to open mine and then said, "Just don't tell..." and pointed at the (empty) desk of a coworker who is good friends with the ex-wife. Fine, so I looked and there was an invitation to a party. It was styled like a wedding invitation where his sisters were proud to announce the divorce of their brother from "What's Her Name." It actually said that. And then the party invite information followed and it said something about no gifts, please, but to bring a single female friend!

Holy crap, I about keeled over. I mean, that's just really in poor taste. I was very much not choosing sides in the issue at all--I'm Switzerland. But man, that makes me question his judgement.

I know I've posted before about my delight in shopping at Grocery Outlet, also known in my family as "Condemned Foods--Where Groceries Go to Die." It's a chain of stores that clear out merchandise that is either really close to its freshness date, or stuff that didn't sell well to begin with, or just something another store needed to get rid of in a hurry. I get all my hair products there because you can get Redken, Joico and other like brands there for about $4 for a bottle of shampoo or conditioner. (No doubt putting many hardworking salon sales people out on the streets. Blame me for the demise of the economy.)

So Freya and I went over there today and you'l never believe what I scored: two Gap long-sleeve Favorite Tees for $5.99 each. Not even in weird colors like chartreuse or coral--in heather grey and black. Suh-weet!

Watch for me on the streets of Boise--I'll be the one with salon hair in the trendy tops with cash falling out of my pockets.

...until at least tomorrow, I promise. Heh.

So let's talk about the names of her children. I actually think Piper and Bristol are pretty cool names, though Bristol is awfully close to "bristle," and maybe that's a little weird, but every kid gets their childhood taunt/nickname. Track and Trig...I'm not so sure about those.

Anyway, for those of you who are interested, you can now get your very own Palin kid name. Just go to the site, enter your own name, and it'll come up with one for you. Then come back and let me know what it is. I'm Rake Trinket.

Even better, my brother-in-law is Buster Taint.

Well, you just gotta look to the right (I should move it to the left, don't you think?) to see who I'm supporting for the presidential election. No guessing there.

So have you seen the Saturday Night Live clip with Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton? I about burst my spleen laughing. Tina Fey is awesome. Check it out.

And then my good friends at People magazine shared the following Palin tidbit with me:

She named her son Trig Paxton Van Palin because it sounds like the band Van Halen. Says friend Judy Patrick, a former city council member who has known Palin for 12 years, "How cool was that to have a kid named Van Palin?"

Gee whiz, she's awful cool, isn't she? Honestly, I can't even believe the Van Palin thing could *possibly* be true. Nobody is that godawful, are they? Nawwww...just that crazy left-wing media again.

After yesterday's rant about needing the perfect workout top, I decided to take action. No, I didn't sketch out a design and get a patent. I wrote to the folks at Title Nine and told them what I was looking for.

I've actually written them before. They have the CUTEST outdoor and workout clothes (though a little pricier than I can usually handle, but watch the sales), and I e-mailed them a couple of years ago about how all their pants had inseams that would suit Little People, but not the more Amazonian types. (Who shall go unnamed.) And whether it had anything to do with me or not, they did start carrying a selection of pants in larger sizes. So...you never know.

Maybe I'll get my dream top one of these days. Oh, and I also learned they're planning on opening a store in Boise soon! Woo! I'm that much closer to their sales rack.

To the people who make womens' workout clothes:

I am a target member of the socioeconomic scale and age range that you really want to pay attention to. I have by-God purchasing power, and I'm going to request something that will revolutionize your business and make you millions.

I need a better sports bra.

But not just any sports bra. I want one that has a little bit of lining in the bra area so that my girls (who are always on high beam) do not protrude conspicuously from the fabric. I'm not asking for a lot, just enough to make a smooth silhouette. Next, I want it to have an empire waistline so that I can get the support I need on top. But then (and here's the other revolutionary part, next to the nip shields) I want the fabric to drape a little bit, rather than clinging to that pesky muffin top that I'm trying so hard to get rid of. I don't want too much hang, because then I'll get gap-osis when I go into downward dog in yoga class. I don't want to expose the aforementioned muffin top, for heaven's sake. But I don't belive it is truly necessary to have the sports bra be as tight at the bottom as it is at the top.

So there you go: make millions by giving me these two simple things in a workout top.

1) Protection from full-time high beam nipple exposure;
2) A little less cling below the bra area.

Oh, and a third thing. Can you please make it about 3 inches longer than the industry standard? I am not a short girl, and no matter how gently I wash them, they tend to shrink vertically. I need more fabric.

Simple. Now go make it, and then mail me several to try out. God knows I'm good for honest feedback.

Jess was right: we went to Yellowstone for a few days. We got back last night, and here are a few pictures to share with you.

First, we rented a cabin at Old Faithful. It was rustic, but it had a sink and it was a short walk to the showers and bathroom. It was also warm and comfy. We got to see Old Faithful erupt several times. Here it is the night before we left, just about at sunset:

We saw lots of wildlife, mainly from the side of the road. We saw lots of bison, a few elk and deer, and a couple of coyotes. No bears or wolves, unfortunately. I guess.

We toured other famous sites, including Yellowstone Falls. I like to call this a really nice picture of a pine bough in front of one of the world's most spectacular sights. Alternately, it is a very artsy shot of the falls.

Matt and I both enjoy eating breakfasts at the lodges of National Parks for whatever reason. I guess it is because breakfast is usually the cheapest meal, and the lodges are usually so beautiful. So we ate breakfast at Old Faithful Lodge, which has an unbelievable interior with an enormous stone fireplace (we're talking about five stories), and the railings on each of the floors (which are open to the ground floor) are done in twisty branch railings. Here's a shot looking up:

We had a great time, and Freya adored being in "the woods." And get this, I am not making this up at all. As we were telling her about the geysers being made of steam she said, "Steam is gas and it is pee-yew stinky!" I think we're getting our money's worth out of her Montessori school. Here we are at Firehole Falls:

*ivillagers, you already know, so don't spill the beans!

We're going out of town for a few days prior to hunting season starting, which is Matt's "busy" work time of the year. (Oh, pee-damned-you, the dog just farted and I think there was some nasal damage done. I might be bleeding. Yeowch.) Want to guess where we're going?

Some clues for you:
It's about a 10 hour trip from Boise.
It will be considerably cooler there than Boise.
Much of the water in the area will be above the boiling point.
Twenty years ago, there were huge forest fires there.

Anyone? Anyone? Will post pictures upon the return!

(I'll be glad to get away from this damned gassy dog. I'm trying to think if he had access to wasabi recently, because that's how bad it is burning my nose hairs.)

As you know, I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and left the organization when I was 21. It's left a lot of trauma behind in my life; trauma about the destruction of my relationship with my mother and sister, and trauma about the dreadful things I was taught as part of the doctrine.

I've mentioned before my terror of Armageddon, when Jehovah God was going to kill my father, my brothers, and almost all of my friends and neighbors because they didn't believe in what the Jehovah's Witnesses taught. And I've mentioned that these tales of killing and godly annihilation were fed to me pretty much as bedtime stories. The books and magazines of the Watchtower Society were full of pictures of people being killed or about to be killed by the hand of God. Even the books designed for small children had graphic pictures; one about the Flood showed a mother holding a baby, and she was sitting in the highest place she could get to, but the water was rising and she was holding one hand up to the heavens in appeal while her other arm was wrapped around the child who was about to drown with her.

A friend of mine on a message board for former Jehovah's Witnesses recently got ahold of a sermon delivered at one of the organization's assemblies, and has put it on YouTube with an accompaniment of photographs, some from JW publications, that depict what the speaker is talking about. The pictures are terribly graphic, as are the words of the speaker. Please don't watch it with children around. But please, watch it. And the next time the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door and offer you their publications, please think about this and don't take them. You'll be shocked and horrified by what they are looking forward to, at what the speaker talks about with such glee in his voice.

You may think of the Jehovah's Witnesses you know as nice people. It's true, they are. But they are members of a cult that is very powerful, very destructive of families, and frankly sadistic. Think I'm wrong? Watch the video.

Dear Miss Mousie,

You turned 31 months old yesterday--closer to your third birthday than your second. You're almost totally potty trained, though you still wear a diaper at night and are too little to use the grown-up toilet yet. You know how to do a somersault. You can take the letter magnets on the fridge and arrange them to spell your name.

We took you to Boise's Art in the Park event yesterday and I stopped by a booth that sells little girls' dress up accessories. You're now the proud owner of a rainbow ribbon tutu, a flower and ribbon crown, and a fairy wand shaped like a lily. You wore the whole ensemble all day yesterday, including in the park, and that drew a lot of smiles and comments from complete strangers. Not everyone has a fairy princess to take around with them. You woke up in the middle of the night asking where your tutu was.

You're a very kind little person, and you love to help out around the house. You'll carry dirty laundry to the washer for me, help me unload the dishwasher, and you put your dirty clothes in the hamper each night. Of course, you also sling out every toy in your toybox, and then don't really think it is up to you to put them all away. So nothing is quite perfect, but that's okay.

We'll keep you.

Love,
Mommy

I started my Christmas shopping already. I was going to say I started it today, but then I realized I did get one item about 3 weeks ago off of Steep and Cheap for my brother-in-law.

Kinda makes you sick, doesn't it?

You know, I've been saying for quite a while now that I could handle it if John McCain was elected President. Yeah, he's not my first choice and maybe I'm just so utterly jaded by the current administration that SpongeBob looks like a huge improvement. But I think he'd do a good enough job. That is, I was okay with his candidacy until he selected Sarah Palin as his running mate and I found out a little more about her.

The thing that flat-out gets me the most is her radical anti-abortion stand. I'm pro-choice, but I don't believe that I'd get an abortion under pretty much any conceivable (no pun intended) circumstance, unless continuing the pregnancy would result in the death of both me and the baby. Rare, but it happens. I can't write that in my own blood, because it is so hard to say what circumstances might befall a woman. But that's my stand. Other people have other ideas, and I say they should make their own choices about their own lives and bodies. I know what my choice is, but I don't want to stand in the way of someone else's.

Sarah Palin would, and in the most extreme circumstances. She's so anti-abortion that she would like it to be illegal, even in the instance of rape and/or incest. As a for-instance, say you're a bright, poor, young woman innnnn...oh...Arkansas. Say you've just received a college scholarship and you're going to be the first person in your whole family to go to college. You have a chance at a real life. But then your Cousin Cletus the Felon gets out of jail and rapes you shortly after his home-coming. And you wind up pregnant with his baby. What would you do? What do you think someone else should do? If Sarah Palin had her way, the woman in this circumstance would be stuck with having the baby and could miss her entire shot at a happy future because of a violent act against her. Is that right? I don't think so. Still not sure? What if it was your own daughter who had that potential, and was raped by a family member and became pregnant? Would you want the government legislating her potential?

Not me, thank you.

I'd also like to point out that Sarah Palin's answer to teen pregnancy is (laughably)...abstinence. Hello, Irony calling. May I speak to Sarah? How's that abstinence education working out in your family?

Anyway, here's an interesting clip from the Daily Show about the hypocrisy the pundits are throwing around so cavalierly these days. Do watch it, even for the first 3 minutes. It's educational.

We got word last week that Freya's Montessori feels she's ready to bump from the toddler to the preschool program.

My baby? Is growing up. This is the next step before she starts kindergarten for real. And someday she's going to step on a school bus all by herself and I'll be bawling my eyes out and by the time I recover from that she'll be headed off to the prom and then to college...

Rushing things much?

It'll be a couple of weeks probably, and that gives us some time to decide for sure that the time is right. There are a lot of bigger kids in the other classroom (duh), and I'm worried that she'll start bringing home big kid behaviors that she learns from them. There's one little girl in particular who I think is probably as close to getting expelled as any kid has been from Montessori...

I know Freya is ready. The question is, am I?

I've got to tell you guys, I am mad as a wet hen right now. I think I've mentioned that I take Freya to a local farmstand every Saturday between about May and October. It is very important to me to support local agriculture, and these folks grow organically (though they're not certified--too expensive). They raise chickens as well, and we buy our eggs from them.

Additionally, they've started selling organic milk from a local dairy as well as delicious local cheese. They have local honey, local salsa and tomato sauce, local herbs, etc.

Getting Freya to see a real farm is very important to me. I want her to see and understand how food is grown, and I want her to have at least some agricultural background and perspective. I was raised on a ranch where we grew alfalfa, peas and summered cattle. I don't claim to be a farm girl at all, but it was a big part of shaping my love for the earth and the outdoors. So I'd like to give Freya at least a taste of that, despite the fact that we don't live in a very rural setting. The farm gives me the ability to teach her so much.

But just this last week, Ada County, the Idaho county we live in, has given them notice that they can no longer sell any packaged products. No milk, no cheese, no honey, no pasta or sauce. I don't think we'll even be able to buy our (local) dog food there anymore! The owners of the farm said they've tried to be in compliance and tell the government what they're doing, and the answer they were given by Ada County was that they're "not in the permit business." But suddenly, they need a permit?

I'm waiting for more details, but no doubt it will be a process of some length and cost. I'm definitely going to be writing either a letter of complaint to the county or a letter of support for the farm (or both, whatever is the most helpful).

This is just nuts. I swear the laws are in place to protect the big industrial farmers and grocers, not the little guys just trying to make a living.

I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

Too bad I don't sing much better than Pierce Brosnan.

I went and saw Mamma Mia! today, and though it took me a little while to get in sync with it, I thought it was great. I'm pretty impressed with Meryl Streep, as usual, in that she brings her usual dignity to the role, despite the fact that it is goofy and she doesn't have a spectacular voice. Someone with less...what's the word I want...brio than she has definitely could have turned the role into a really rubbish part, and that would have ruined the whole movie.

And the whole while I was watching, I was regretting the fact that my friend recovering from breast cancer won't be back to work by Halloween, because we could TOTALLY ROCK the costume contest at work with ABBA-inspired bell bottoms and feathered bangs. Dammit.