All I'm Saying there's a joke in here somewhere

A few bullets on the last decade. On the down side:

- 9/11
- Subsequent wars
- Dubya
- Darfur
- Tsunamis and other natural disasters
- Losses of dear friends and loved ones
- Diagnosed depression, anxiety and OCD
- Infertility

On the good side:
- Marriage to my best friend
- The daughter who completes my soul
- Happiness in work
- Fiscal stability

It's been an eventful decade, yes? I guess they probably all are, though. Makes me kind of nervous about the one ahead. How about you all? Would you like to list some highs and lows of the last 10?

We took Freya to the movie theatre for the first time ever yesterday. It was kind of a no-brainer that we'd be going to see "The Princess and the Frog" over Christmas break, since Freya is slavishly devoted to all things pink and coronated.

The movie was really great; I think Tiana is the best Disney princess yet, and I've got myself a little crush on Prince Naveen. The music was awesome.

But the best part of the whole thing was that Freya climbed up on my lap right as the movie started, twined her little fingers through mine, and stayed that way for the whole thing. In the beginning of the story, Tiana wishes on the North Star just as hard as she can for what she dreams of the most.

I found myself wishing at the same time, "Let us always love each other this much."

Cookie is settling in to our home beautifully. She's had one small potty accident, but we're more aware now and are being more watchful. She and Grover are getting along great, although Grover is likely tired of being tackled by her. Freya is warming up a little at a time. Matt and I just love her. She loves to come snuggle with anyone who will sit on the floor.

I'm trying to get a good picture of her brindle coloring. It really is orange and black--we thought about naming her Pumpkin to indicate that, but it didn't seem to fit. Until I do, enjoy this cute shot of our cute dog:

You'll recall that I blogged earlier this month about going to check out a pit bull from Boise Bully Breed Rescue. Long story short, the dog didn't turn out to be the right one for us. Just a week ago, we found out the dog we looked at had actually been claimed by her original owners; they'd lost her over a year ago and had given up looking, then were looking on the rescue page for a dog and realized their own dog was there! It was definitely a good thing we hadn't adopted her.

On Christmas Day we went over to my eldest brother's family's house and met their new puppy, Maggie, who they'd recently acquired from the pound. And it gave me puppy lust. One thing led to another, and...well...meet Cookie:

I found her through the rescue group's page. She's about 20 weeks old and was an "owner surrender" from a pound in eastern Idaho. She's been being fostered by a family with two small children and two other dogs, and they've had fantastic luck with her. She's (mostly) housebroken and (sort of) crate trained. There's still a bit to work on.

We went and met her today and we brought her home. Technically, we're doing a trial week. But realistically, I think we're her forever home. She's a total sweetie, and Grover and she have been rough-housing pretty much since 15 minutes after she showed up. Freya likes her very well, though she currently prefers her from a distance. I think both Freya and Cookie need to learn a little more about what it's like to be in a family together, but they've made huge strides since just lunch time today.

Oh, and we think Cookie is a pit bull/boxer cross, but we're not entirely sure. We'll know more when we take her to the Humane Society in a couple of weeks for her spay and microchipping. She sure is cute!

I thought I might have blogged back in 2005 about getting our current TV, Big Bertha. I went to look for it and spent 10 minutes "lost in let's remember," as Billy Joel would say. I was wretched there for a few months in the late spring of '05, wasn't I? Anyway, my point:

After we sold the house in Cascade at a huge profit and bought this place, Matt and I went to the local huge furniture store (aka, "Mormon Disneyland," because it is owned by an LDS company and closes every Sunday, and because you cannot beLIEVE how many people turn out for free hot dogs on Saturdays) and we each got to pick out one piece of dream furniture. Mine was a down-stuffed sectional sofa; Matt's was a 48" projection screen TV. It truly was a dream. Until we got both pieces of furniture in the same room together and realized a few more measurements had been in order.

Essentially, our living room configuration leaves us sitting a little bit too close to the TV. Because the sofa is so whacking large, you really can't rearrange it in any way other than what we've done. When Matt's parents come to visit, his dad sits halfway up the stairs looking in to the living room because that's where his eyes can focus on the tube from.

Finally last week we went and bought a new LCD TV that we can mount on the wall, and came back and posted Big Bertha on Craigslist. A couple of groups came by to check it out tonight, and we have a buyer for it now. I wish I had taken pictures of the two young men who are buying it: I haven't seen the movie, "The Hangover," but I'm guessing from the posters that these two are devotees of the concept. They're in their early 20s, unshaven, ill-washed, and running 20-30 lbs. overweight. But they were sweet, and SO excited about the TV. They're coming over tomorrow afternoon with a panel truck to pick it up.

One of them said, "It's going in my room with the XBox. Right now I'm playing on a 32" analog TV and, MAN! this is going to be a whole new world." Word, bro. It is easy to see that he's not wasting his money on the ladies--it's all gaming and weed.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Matt and I watched The Cove last night. It is in part the story of the original dolphin trainer for the show "Flipper," and his personal realization that not only are dolphins very self-aware and intelligent beings (perhaps as much or more as humans), but that his very participation in glamorizing their human-taught tricks was leading to their devastating captivity.

Through his efforts to free captive dolphins, no doubt earning him the label of "eco-terrorist," he learned of the Japanese town of Taiji. Every year the town drives wild dolphins into netted-off coves, selects likely animals for training and export to places like Sea World, and then slaughters the rest of them--23,000 animals per year--and sells their meat. In some cases, the meat is labeled as dolphin; in others, it is labeled as other kinds of whale. Dolphins are an apex predator, much like marlins, sharks and tuna. Apex predators have the highest concentration of mercury of all the sea's creatures.

The town officials of Taiji and the fisherman there have been incredibly secretive about the happenings with the dolphins. This convinced a group of conservation-minded filmmakers to sneak on to the grounds using night vision, infrared and other equipment, and place cameras disguised as rocks and bird nests around the kill area. The next day, they turned their video feeds on and watched in horror as dolphins were stabbed with spears, as they thrashed about in pain, as their squeals of distress were captured on audio, and as the waters of the cove turned scarlet with blood.

Paralleling the narrative, you learn about how the International Whaling Commission has made enormous strides during the 20th century to stop the killing of whales, and how Japan has made end-runs around most of the recomendations. Not only that, but Japan has bought and paid for other representatives from Third World countries to support their agenda--because let's face it; Cambodia and Dominica aren't real hot-beds of cetacean activity.

I cannot recommend the movie to you enough. Since I was a small child, I've felt that whales and dolphins were at least as "good" as humans are, and that they deserve all the protection we can give them. I'm deeply chagrined to know that there's so much work left to do.

So. I'm asking you to please track down "The Cove" and watch it as soon as you can. You truly won't regret it--it doesn't view like a strict documentary, especially when you're getting a kick out of all their "black ops" action to place their cameras. It will break your heart, but seeing wild dolphins in the sea at the end will put it back together again, stronger and better than before.

Do you find you are losing your momentum the closer we get to the holidays? Despite the fact that I am definitely losing it, I still find I have a lot to get done and have to bull on through. I hate that.

Today I worked, then made two centerpieces for Freya's Christmas program tomorrow, wrapped her teachers' and school gifts, made a run out to grab some gift cards I need for the program, and stopped at Lowe's for the batteries we are definitely going to need on Christmas morning. Tomorrow I work a half-day, then pick up Freya from school, meet a girlfriend for lunch, get to the program site early to decorate, assist the Santa in doing the fund-raiser photographs with kids, clean up after the program, and then come home to let the neighbor's house-sitter in and introduce him to their dogs while they go to Disneyland.

I want to go to Disneyland, dammit. And you know, I did all that even though all I really wanted to do was sit down on the couch on my heating pad and read my book (which is unspeakably tragic and probably not good for me, but fascinating anyway).

What about you all? Would you rather just switch off for the next several weeks, or are you just too friggin' busy?

I'm a fairly regular reader of CakeWrecks, and have enjoyed the last several days particularly. They're doing a fund-raiser for one charity per day, and have featured one of my own favorites, Heifer International. Today I went and checked out the wrecks, and saw that they're raising funds for Childs Play, a charity that collects donations to buy games, books and toys for childrens hospitals across the country.

I got to thinking about that, and clicked through to the organization's map of participating charities and saw that our local St. Luke's Children hospital is not only a participant, but has an Amazon wishlist set up so that rather than donating cash to either the charity or the hospital, you can click and buy wanted items for their program.

I browsed around a little, and I know it isn't just the holiday spirit or a sensitive spot in my hormonal cycle that made me feel really strongly about getting involved. Seriously, guys, they need books with titles like, Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying," and A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children Who Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma". Thinking about kids who need books like that pretty much just breaks my heart.

I went ahead and ordered some goodies to be sent to our childrens hospital. If you're of a mind, you could see if your own childrens hospital is one of the facilities supported by Child's Play. Or if you just want to look at some funny pictures of really scary cakes (and check out some of the other featured non-profits), you could click over to CakeWrecks and get your fix.

A friend referred me to this article today, and I have to admit the question never occurred to me: Why don't women have sex scandals? I mean, there are a few, but most of the ones I can think of are un-famous women who become infamous due to their interest in underaged boys. I draw a blank in trying to think of a famous woman who lost her career or credibility because of a string of sordid affairs.

The Daily Beast raises this question, as well as another huge question for me:

“There are women who are fairly celebrated for their erotic lives, the standard starlets and so on,” says Lionel Tiger, the remarkably named Charles Darwin Professor of Anthropology at Rutgers University and a specialist in the biological origins of human interaction, “but there are none equivalent to Wilt Chamberlain or those men that celebrated how prolific they were in securing females.”

And now to destroy the serious news cred in this post... My huge question? Who THE HELL names their kid Lionel Tiger? What do you suppose his middle name is? Cheetah?

My own theory is this: throughout evolution, the female of the species has known that we have not just an experience, but a commodity, in sex. We have something the males of the species want, and for better or for worse, we have exchanged that commodity to make up for our lack of physical strength. (It's also why we're a whole lot craftier than men are, and I'm not talking about scrapbooking here, folks. I'm talking cold calculation.) So when presented with an opportunity to have an affair, we sit and think, "Okay, what do I gain and what do I lose by this?" And by taking the long view, I think we're a lot more inclined to say, "Thanks but no thanks," to those opportunities. Sex is not as much of a snap decision for us. You've heard it said that a man sometimes thinks with his dick; there's no equivalent saying for women.

Anyway, if you care to share your own theories as to why women don't have sex scandals, please do.

I'm really sorry that none of you got to see me as half of the winning Christmas karaoke duet at my office's all employees meeting today. It's really too bad. While I was deliberately singing so quietly that no one could hear me, my dance moves were matchless. It was like the "Single Ladies" video, minus the lycra, hairspray and dignity.

I now see the downside to being one of those people to whom, "Pick her--she'll do anything" pertains to.

I thought long. I thought hard. I talked to a number of people, including 2 from the pit bull rescue group in town, one K9 handler friend who trains rescue dogs for police work, and several friends and neighbors. And then I thought some more.

What I finally decided and Matt agrees with (though perhaps slightly grudgingly) is that we're not ready for a new dog yet. While I really want a pit bull, while I really want a rescue dog, and while I really believe we have an excellent chance of finding a perfectly stable, placid dog...I know I can't have a guarantee of that.

The thing that convinced me the most was when Freya was playing with our springer spaniel, Grover, last night. She was dressing him up in blankets, and had put a little plastic headband of hers on his head and said, "Look, Grover is a princess!" Grover just sat there with a look of patient endurance. I've seen Freya use Grover's prone body as a step stool to get on the couch or the bed. I've seen her dive on him when he was entirely unsuspecting, and the most reaction she's ever had from him was a raising of the head and a look that says, "Oh, it's you." I think the chances of us having that exact reaction from a rescue dog are perhaps 50-50, at best. At worst, she could get bitten. Whether that was a hard bite or a soft one, a bite isn't acceptable to me.

As my K9 trainer friend pointed out, you just can't know what a rescue dog has been through or what its triggers are. And Freya is so young that she hasn't learned yet how to be respectful enough of a dog's boundaries--hell, she doesn't really know what boundaries are, except for her own.

We briefly entertained the thought of a rescue puppy, but decided that isn't necessarily any better, considering puppies' tendency to bite and jump. Again, Freya isn't quite ready for that. So...I think we're going to wait a couple of years for Freya to get bigger and more knowledgeable. We can reevaluate and see what our situation is, and decide where to go from there.

My heart is a little sad because there are so many great dogs out there, but I know deep down that this is the right choice; the wise choice. As a parent, I can't do any less.

I'd like to start this post by introducing you (those of you who didn't know her) to Muffin:

My family got Muffin as a puppy when I was about 8 years old. She was an American Pit Bull Terrier, and was absolutely the greatest dog I ever knew. She slept on my little brother's bed, put up with it when we'd dress her in our clothes, and the only time she ever bit anyone was when she was 8 weeks old and accidentally got my mom's finger when she was feeding her a piece of chicken. People who knew Muffin loved her. She was the sweetest, kindest dog, and she was very smart and very tough. I'll never forget the day she came home from wandering around and she had a tire track going right across the middle of her back--she was totally fine, she'd just been run over by a truck. Go figure.

Needless to say, I miss Muffin a great deal. She was put down at age 15 because old age had just destroyed her quality of life. Over the last few years as Matt and I have talked about getting another dog, I've leaned more and more toward getting another pit bull. I simply cannot think of a better family dog. As a recent article in Time magazine pointed out:

These often terrifying animals demand pity because they have had the misfortune of meeting up with the most dangerous breed of all: the human. "Pit bulls have gotten this bad reputation because of the type of people who own them," says Humane Society investigator Tim Rickey, who led the July rescue. If these muscular terriers have a flaw, their defenders maintain, it is an excess of devotion. "Their love for humans is why this breed is in trouble," says McBee. "They will take the abuse."

The dogs have never been the problem; the owners are the problem. I've met a huge number of pit bulls through working with the Forest Service as I went into folks' camps, and only once did I have an owner say, "You probably shouldn't pet him." The rest of the dogs were so happy to see a new friend that they tried to lick my skin off. I would love to have one in our home.

All that said, I got online last night and started looking at the local pit bull rescue web page. Today we went and met Dayzee May. She's an adorable 2 year old who looks EXACTLY like the dog on "The LIttle Rascals," right down to the black eye patch. She's very, very sweet.

However. However. As we were playing with her, we noticed that she likes to include her mouth when she plays. By that I mean she bites--very, very gently. It's more of a graze of her teeth, but it's still more than Matt or I am comfortable with, particularly in a house with a small child. I know it is probably a trainable issue, but I don't think it is one I'm ready to deal with. I'm definitely not opposed to getting a rescue dog rather than adopting a puppy, but it has to be the RIGHT rescue dog. And I realize that with a pit bull, the stakes are so much higher when we talk about having a new dog. Yes, chihuahuas and poodles bite people far more often than pit bulls do, but in the rare occasions that a family pit bull bites, the damage can be a great deal more extensive.

So, I think we're going to wish Dayzee a happy future and keep our eyes open. Stay tuned, since there are a few more great dogs on the rescue list that we hope to meet in the days and weeks to come!

(As posted on Facebook by Kalisah, and seen a couple of other places since...)

Evidently the young man, Chris Pesto, posted the following to his Facebook page: Today (Wednesday, November 18th) I left my voice lesson and noticed two adults on campus holding signs that said “Homosexuality is a sin”. First, I would just like to say that I support people with their own opinions. I think that everyone is entitled to their right to think what they want. However, when someone comes on my campus, where I pay tuition to live, I don’t think it’s appropriate to rub such a hateful sign in someone’s face. I decided that because this woman thought it was okay to make me feel uncomfortable in my home, I would retaliate and make her feel just as uncomfortable, if not more.

I never expected anybody to come stand by me and support and I appreciate it so much that everyone came! It meant so much and it proved to those ignorant people that we aren’t afraid, and we will put up a fight.

Fight on, Chris Pesto, fight on!

(Additional info from The F-Bomb.)